The Gift of Grace
This past week has confirmed that this year will have more change, complexity, divisiveness, and uncertainty than ever – the perfect storm for chronic stress and overwhelm! Given that, I’ve decided that my number one goal for 2025 will be to maintain a sense of calm, balance and resilience to ensure I can focus, think clearly, maintain my authenticity and integrity and show up as my best self in the coming year. How?
By giving myself and others the gift of grace.
To me, “giving ourselves grace” means treating ourselves with same kindness and self-compassion we would give a dear friend or loved one. It means shifting off autopilot (and doom scrolling) to be fully present with ourselves and others. It’s about taking a deep breath, letting go of imperfection, and not worrying about things we can’t control. It means allowing ourselves to focus our time and energy on what matters most to us – the experiences, people and things that give us joy. When we give ourselves grace, it’s like filling our cup. And when our cup is full, we’re better equipped to give others grace too—something we all know the world could use more of!
GRACE can also be used as a handy acronym to remember five simple practices that build the awareness and resilience needed to skillfully navigate the challenges ahead with clarity and purpose.
Ground yourself in your body and the present moment
Focusing attention on sensations in the body has a lot of great benefits! It helps you shift out of autopilot mode and into the present moment. It turns down the volume of the chatter constantly running in the background of our “skull sized kingdoms” - and breaks the negative cycle of rumination and imagined worst case scenarios. (As Mark Twain once said: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”). Try grounding yourself by taking a few deep, long breaths or doing a quick body scan to notice and relax any tension or stress in your head, neck, shoulders and back. Another benefit: grounding yourself in the “here and now” helps strengthen your self-awareness muscles, which are the foundation for emotional intelligence.
Regulate your emotions
Emotions are physical sensations in the body which arise seconds before our thinking brain can process this valuable information. Grounding in your body helps you notice and process this valuable information faster, enabling you to respond wisely, rather than saying or doing something that you might later regret. Tools like the STOP practice (“Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed”) will help you choose thoughtful responses over reactive ones, even in high-stress situations. You can also “pre-regulate” negative emotions before they occur by limiting exposure to situations that trigger you. For example, I’ve made a conscious decision to stop doom scrolling my news feeds and stay off social media. And when I do read the news, I choose sources that are informative, not inflammatory. (I’m a big fan of the 1440 Newsletter).
Accept what you can’t control
It’s liberating to focus your energy on what’s within your sphere of influence instead of struggling to change what’s out of your hands! Acceptance does NOT mean approval, resignation or submission. Rather, acceptance is the ability to meet the moment as it is and play the hand that you’ve been dealt. When you see the situation clearly, you can use your energy wisely on things you can control, rather than those things you can’t. Analyzing your circles of control and influence is a great way to reassess what is most important during times of uncertainty and overwhelm.
Connect with a supportive community
Humans are social creatures who need each other to survive, especially when times are tough! And yet when we feel overwhelmed, a common “freeze” response is to withdraw socially. Now is not the time to stay on your couch alone, eating ice cream or cookies while streaming mindless TV! Expand your network and circle of influence while engaging with supportive people who share your values and make you feel safe and respected. And when we are connected in community with those that make us feel safe and supported, we can….
Engage with authenticity, integrity and purpose
Get clear on what matters most to you and let that guide your choices and focus in the coming year. When you align your actions with your values and purpose, you’ll feel more grounded and fulfilled. Where can you lend your strengths and talents to make a positive impact on issues, people and places that your care most about? Focus your energy there and practice saying “no” to the rest. Remember, it’s not about doing everything. It’s about doing the most important things—and doing them well!
Embodying these five principles in your daily life will help you maintain the balance, focus and resilience needed to skillfully navigate the change and challenges ahead and show up as your best self.
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